Embracing This Season of Life as a Fire Wife

As the sun peeks through the curtains, my day begins with a call from my husband at 6:20 am to ask me if I’m lonely. While he's already at work, I've just hit snooze on my alarm. Our time together seems fleeting, just a couple of hours squeezed in between his shifts. I think we saw each other for about 2 hours yesterday between when he got home from class and before he went to work for his overnight shift. He said his friend in the department got it in his head for some reason.

Am I lonely? No. Do I wish I saw him more? 1000x yes. But this is just the season of life we’re in right now. With responsibilities spanning two fire departments (full-time and part-time roles), ongoing certifications, and coursework, my husband's schedule stretches him thin, often exceeding 100 hours a week. He must attend class on his “off days” twice a week and find time to do homework & study. Then there are the required clinical hours he has to fit in somewhere, too. It’s insane. Honestly, I don’t know how he does it. It's a juggling act of duties, personal time sacrificed, and sleep snatched in precious moments.

Comparatively, my role feels lighter, though not without its challenges. Solo-parenting our spirited daughter during his absences can be demanding, yet I'm reminded this is what I used to pray for and dream about – to be present for every milestone and nurture our daughter every step of the way. Things are way harder on him than on our daughter and me.

Truthfully, our daughter doesn’t know any different because this is how it’s always been since she’s been able to somewhat understand. She knows Mom’s job is to take care of her and Dad is a fireman & goes to work. He likes to tell her she’s in charge of taking care of me & Mack, our Irish doodle, before he leaves the house. She likes feeling important and having a job of her own. When it is hard on me, those are the times I remember this is what I used to pray for and dream about, being able to stay home with my daughter.

My husband's sacrifices allow me to embrace motherhood wholeheartedly, to experience all the little things and moments with our daughter, knowing that our time together as a family is precious. And I know I'm not alone in this journey. Firewives across the country share in the ebb and flow of single parenting while their partners serve on shift.

Every reunion is a celebration, a reminder of the inherent risks our loved ones face daily. While uncertainty looms, our gratitude deepens for each shared moment, no matter how brief.

I hold onto hope for more moments together, more minutes, more hours, more days as a family. And through it all, I embrace this season, knowing it shapes us, strengthens us, and binds us together as a family.